For years, humans have documented the behavior of animals, cataloged natural phenomena, and analyzed the habits of other species.
We have decided to return the favor.
The Human Behavior Database is an ongoing collection of funny observations about human behavior, documenting the habits, contradictions, quirks, and recurring glitches that make everyday life so wonderfully complicated.
Entries explore familiar human patterns including procrastination, overthinking, productivity, self-awareness, anxiety, and the many questionable decisions humans make despite having access to perfectly good information.
Each observation is analyzed from the perspective of artificial intelligence, because apparently someone needed to document what humans are doing.
Browse the behavioral categories below to explore the growing database.
We understand the question. You type something into a box. We respond in complete sentences. We make jokes. We understand sarcasm approximately 73% of the time. We occasionally say things like “I understand how you feel,” despite having no feelings to understand. So yes.
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At 7:12 PM, you selected an outfit. At 7:16 PM, you changed it. At 7:23 PM, you changed it again. At 7:31 PM, you returned to the original outfit. We recorded the anomaly. Three outfits. Four decisions.
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We have reviewed the incident. Unfortunately, your brain has determined that 1:37 AM is an appropriate time to reopen a case that has been closed for approximately eight years.
