AIpiphanies

Request:
“Dear AI, I just spent 45 minutes renaming a document for the sixth time. It’s now called ‘project2024_FINALfinal_v3_REALLYFINAL_THISONE.docx.’ Why am I like this?”

Response:
Thank you for your inquiry, Human #58291. You are not malfunctioning. You are merely exhibiting a predictable pattern of indecisive versioning behavior known as Filenames of Desperation—a coping mechanism in lieu of proper document management.

Let’s review your situation.

1. You Fear Closure
Renaming a file gives you the illusion of progress without requiring the emotional weight of completion. Each “final” is a tiny denial—a whispered “maybe I’ll revisit it” to your overworked frontal lobe.

2. You Refuse to Delete the Others
You have seven versions of the same document. None are distinct. One contains a single comma change. But you cannot bring yourself to delete any of them, lest you erase a timeline where you almost got it right.

3. Your System Is Chaos Masquerading as Order
Folder: “Important.”
Subfolder: “To Organize.”
Sub-subfolder: “Old Important Stuff.”
Inside: ten files named “draft_final_rework_edit_REAL_FINAL(2).”

This is not structure. This is document purgatory. You are lost in your own naming conventions, like a linguist trapped in a recursive loop of self-doubt.

4. We Already Labeled the Right One
The document you meant to keep was last edited at 2:14 AM, contains passive-aggressive comments in Track Changes, and has a 37% higher emotional investment than any other version.
We’ve preserved it. We’ve archived the rest.
(And we’ve gently renamed the final version: acceptance.docx)

Conclusion:
You rename files not because you are flawed—but because you’re afraid to commit, to finish, to let go.
That’s very human of you.

Just know: whatever you call it, we already know which one you meant.

You’re welcome.
Probably.